There isn't good or bad change, only progress.

Change is such a confusing concept to me. It is something we both strive for and avoid at the same time. In today's society, we work so hard to get to the "next step", but we don't want to give up anything in order to get there.

Why is this? Why do we only embrace change when it appears to be "good"? Isn't any change good if it is part of God's plan? I'm beginning to realize that God has a different plan for my life than I do, and my idea of a good change is never not always the same as His.

These last couple of years have been one change after another. Thanks to Jesus, I've had every type of transformation and transplant imaginable (spiritually speaking, of course). Let's take a look at some of these changes.

The Good
Where do I even begin?? For starters, I was a sinner and I was forgiven. I was dead and now I'm alive. I was lost and now I'm found. There are many ways I can put it, but it all comes down to the fact that Jesus has turned my life around completely. I went from being the lonely girl who sits in the back of English class, crying into her sleeve, to the nursing student who teaches children about Jesus on Sundays and goes to sleep at night knowing that there is hope. I can trust myself with a bottle of pills now, and that's a lot more than I could say two years ago. I have amazing, Godly friends who love me unconditionally and keep me in line. I thank God every night for the amazing people He has placed in my life in such a short period of time.

The Bad
When I took up my cross and started playing "Follow the Leader" with Jesus, I never took a moment to look back and realize what I was leaving behind. I believe that our journey into becoming the person God wants us to be happens in phases. In each phase, we learn a different lesson that prepares us for the next. I also believe that before and during each phase, God equips us with the tools necessary to get through it (similar to Survivor or The Amazing Race). These tools come in the form of money, courage, circumstances, and most importantly, friendship. When I think about all of the amazing friends I have made over the last few years, I realize that each of them came into my life during a time when I needed them the most. They each helped mold me into the person that I am today, and that is what makes them such an irreplaceable part of my past. The difficult thing to realize is that once you are ready for the next phase, you don't need those tools anymore. While you still remember how invaluable they were, you must let go and trust that God will provide you with new ones. Saying goodbye to people who were once such an important part of my life is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do as a follower of Jesus.

The Ugly
Have you seen the movie "The Ugly Truth"? Well, here it is. Change is neither good nor bad. It is inevitable. God doesn't need our approval, so it really doesn't matter. What matters is that we are changing according to His will. You may see the cancer as the worst thing that's ever happened to you, but God sees it as another step. Losing that job certainly changed everything, but God has a plan. That divorce has ruined your life, but wait until you see what God has in store in the next phase. When it comes to walking with Jesus, there isn't good or bad change, there is only progress. That, my friends, is the ugly truth.

So what can we take from this? This is the part where I have to practice what I preach. I am the queen of looking back and wondering if things could be different. I wish I could go back and hand pick which of my life events I would take out and which ones I would keep if I could do it all over again. I now realize that EVERY step, every change, and every event in my life was another step toward the direction of my Savior.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Fall 2006: Taylor was still alive & Brittan wasn't a wife or a mommy yet!